This is brilliant. My mum said so. It features a
constant stream of obfuscating bullet points and sound bites to suit
every situation. As long as that situation is one of those awkward ones
where you've just got to the end of your global strategy pitch and
forgot to include the last slide. Or you've just been cornered by a
simpering hack who's asking you policy questions about your own company
that you just don't have the faintest idea about. The iBull is the
answer. Now with added gravity filters - match the bull to the gravity
of the situation.
Keep your fan clean. Get your hands on a new iBull with endless drivel, meaning you can escape from up to 10,000(1) sticky situations. And you can escape wherever you are. In the elevator. On the treadmill. Falling asleep at a network event. Hanging out a window leering at interns in the support center.
Is That The Boss? Damn, Quick!
iBull is now better than ever. Building on the success of the one we made before, which was a bit crap, we've changed everything. It's discreet - your boss will never know. It's compact - you can hide it in your underwear, like I do! It's available in a beautiful copy and pasted brushed aluminum body, and if you don't look too closely, you can't even see the joins.
Get Out Of Jail - Free!
You can use your iBull for an increasing number of ecsapolagistic juxtapositions, now enhanced with mind-blowing gravity filters — like convincing the CXO your Q4 strategy really does depend on customer-facing random time-phases, straight into an accidental meeting with a crazed man-woman journalist where your description of how leveraging the global paradigm gives us regenerated digital concepts seems quite astute. See? You need one of these.
Leave A Couple Of Blank Slides...Go On
And you can leave gaps in your presentations. Imagine you're 17 slides into your globalization pitch. You've just got the last 2 slides where you're asking for money, and hey! HBO is showing a rerun of that documentary about Sharks and Hitler. Go on, take a break. You deserve it. When you turn up to the video conference tomorrow, just give the iBull a click. Instantly, your organization believes in customer-facing open-sourced alignment.
No Knowledge Is Power
The perfect solution for water cooler executive entrapment. It's ok for your director to slide up and say "How's it going?", but you know you can't just tell it like it is. "Crap. I'm only here for donuts", doesn't cut it. Thank goodness for the iBull. You now have transparent capabilities for senior management deflection, at your fingertips. One click to obfuscation and you're walking back down the corridor, past that guy with the 24" widescreen monitor and back into your poky hole, with a sad, smug grin on your grubby little face. Loser.
As for iBull in the home, in the bar, at the diner, or even in the
freezer food aisle with your pants halfway down, there are endless
opportunities to show how clever you are. Only you will know that's
you're not. But that's why you're sending us $399.
- Based on average situation of about 7.
- There isn't a 2. Oh, hang on, Multiple delivery partners provide compatible digital language support. There.